Oh little corner of the internet, I’ve neglected you. There’s been lots to talk about, but no time to do it in. Life was too busy happening for me to put my fingers to the keyboard.
I have been busy being happy. What a change, I know. I have been busy tending my heart, which is bursting in the best possible way. I have been busy remembering what it’s like for things to be simple and wonderful, when there are no imbalances to pull the scale to one side and bring you to the ground. The scales aren’t tipping, no, but I have been busy falling.
This, friends, is the kind of feeling that makes you cheer silently when you hit a yellow light in the morning, happy that you get to spend just two extra minutes in the car with her before you have to go your separate ways for the day and face the real world. It is the kind of feeling that other people can see in your eyes. “Your eyes light up when you talk about her,” someone said to me today. “Do you still have hearts floating above your head?” someone else asked.
Yes.
I most definitely do.
There has been sadness lately, too. I won’t mix it into this post, as I too often temper goodness with blue. I only mention it here to say that this is the kind of feeling that makes tragedy bearable. My heart was so, so heavy and my mind was a frozen fuzz – then she showed up, ice cream in hand, and kept me company in my grief. She made me smile just enough that I no longer felt I would shatter, but not so much that I forgot why I was sad. And that may seem like an odd form of perfection, but someone once said that getting over grief entirely and forgetting is the worst thing that could happen. She made things just right.
The way she always does.
